I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
