I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
