Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
