I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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