Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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