I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
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