Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
