i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
