you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
4 words: hood of his car
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
