let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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