Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
