I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
