I must be too annoying 4 u.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
