I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
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