Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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