i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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