Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
