Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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