Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
