even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
