So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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