she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Holy shit dude........stairs
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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