He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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