Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
