I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
