google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
