You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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