9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
