I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
