Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
