school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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