Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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