**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
