Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
