Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
