She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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