i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
