So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
