How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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