She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
