Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
