I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i out mim tonsoeep
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
