She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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