So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
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