Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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