I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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