i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
