First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
