Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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