You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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