I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
