I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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